


In a Way I Can't Return

by icandrawamoth



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: X-Wing Series - Aaron Allston & Michael Stackpole
Genre: Disappointment, F/M, I Hate Myself for Doing This to Them, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I made myself sad, Love Confessions, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, POV First Person, Pining, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-08-02 04:28:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16298165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icandrawamoth/pseuds/icandrawamoth
Summary: “I love you, Wedge,” you say, and I can only see your blond hair as you duck your head to avoid my eyes. “I had to tell you before – before it was too late.”





	In a Way I Can't Return

“I love you, Wedge,” you say, and I can only see your blond hair as you duck your head to avoid my eyes. “I had to tell you before – before it was too late.”

It hits me like a speeder truck. I should have noticed long ago. Looks you've given me over the years. Secret smiles and winks as you teased how bad I am with women. The way you clung to me after Lusankya, the way I was there all through your trial. Have I given you the wrong idea?

“Tycho...” I don't know what to say. You're my best friend. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want anything to change.

“You don't have to say anything.” You're turning away, but not before I see how red your cheeks are, the disappointment in your eyes. You wanted something from this conversation you're not going to get. “I just wanted you to know.”

“Tycho, wait.” I touch your arm and feel you shudder. “I'm sorry,” I say, though I'm not sure for what. “I never knew. But I don't...”

“You don't feel the same.” You take a deep breath and meet my eyes, and the ever-present pain in your blue gaze has deepened another shade. I hate that I unintentionally did that. “You like women. You're in love with Iella, and you're going to marry her.”

I nod.

You smile, and you have to know I know you well enough to see how broken it is. “I'm happy for you. Really.”

“Are you okay?” I burst out before you can turn again. “Are we – okay?”

“I don't know.” I can hear the hurt in your voice now, and I don't know if it's too much to hold back or if you're just no longer trying. Did you really think this conversation would end another way? Our lives aren't some romantic holodrama; that's not how reality works. “I don't know, Wedge. I should go.”

You move toward the door, and I don't follow. I don't know what I would say if I did.

I never expected this conversation, this confession. I never knew you felt anything more for me than friendship, and now I don't know if what we did have will survive. Part of me wants to be angry with you. Part of me is angry at myself.

Mostly I'm scared I've gained a wife but lost my best friend.

**Author's Note:**

> Partly inspired by a Tumblr prompt: the way you said "I love you" - in a way I can't return.


End file.
